So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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