I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it hurts more in the daytime
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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