We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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