Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
