We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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