Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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