Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
