as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
