You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize