The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
