New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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