The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
