Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
