Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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