i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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