we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
