I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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