the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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