This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
