i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just gift wrapped bread.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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