i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
