I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
