My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
