you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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