Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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