all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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