Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
