I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
