I'm going to jail i love you
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
