Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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