I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
