Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
