i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i think im in europe. pls send help
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