Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
