That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize