If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i will never coherently bang her
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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