Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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