bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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