It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
