I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
