dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
