my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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