Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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