Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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