So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
