Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
