They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
