Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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