so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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