I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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