were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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