Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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