He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have fence marks all over my body
how drunk are you?
Several
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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