you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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