# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
