grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
