I CAN MOONWALK!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize