Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
