We won't sleep together?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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