let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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