Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Let's get the cat blown out
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
